Letters
by Shadow of Darkness 22
Summary: There are times where you just need to make your own time to breathe. Thats what he said in his letters, thats what he said in his last. SaixMarluxia R


Hello again everyone. I'm back for another One-shot. It's quite interesting how it appeared in my head, and then Eminai helped with the plot idea. Then I did the rest. It's quite long if you ask me. But let me tell you this. It's mostly fluff and some angst. Got it? Good. Also... This is my first time typing this pairing, so don't hurt me too much.

**Disclaimer** I own nothing! If I did... you know I'm tired of saying these things.

_**Warning**_: Yaoi! Don't like, don't read! Tons of fluff and random cheesy moments. Angst!

Songs listened to while typing: Ave Maria, Tifa's theme, To Zanarkand, many more.

Letters

It was a quiet night. The full moon shined brightly through the glass windows. The room was dark and quiet and a figure sat by the window, a paper in hand. He was silent as he looked at the folded paper, the sweet scent of flowers surrounding his senses. The same scent that made him blush every time he was near.

He moved some of the blue locks from his face, his forehead showing an X scar, visible for everyone to see. His golden eyes showing curiosity and anxious combined. He reached down to the parchment and opened the seal with his sharp claw. He unfolded the paper and the scent of flowers bloomed even more in his senses. He breathed it in, missing the scent everyday.

Undoing the neatly folded paper he noticed beautifully written handwriting. He couldn't help but shake his head and give a slight chuckle. He always liked to write in a girly fashion, adding a flower as his signature. Finally the golden eyes moved to the top of the letter and began reading.

_Dear Saix,_

_How have you been lately? I'm not sure if not having a heart affects anything, but I just felt like asking. Felt? Well more like wanted to. You know what? Remind me every time I say something about the heart. The thing is so confusing sometimes. _

_Anyway, I just got to Castle Oblivion. The place isn't that bad, looks white as usual. Makes me wonder why the superior likes the color white so much. Is it because color brings out emotion? I don't know. Anyway, it's about as big as home, not much of a different. Like I said, it's the white. _

_So, I suppose you wish to know about the others. Ok this might be a little long I got a lot to tell you. _

_First off, Axel. _

_Can he be anymore of a pain in the ass? I swear he kept complaining the moment we just got to the door! Kami. Sometimes I wish I could chop his head off, but the superior would have my head after that. I don't want that. (Inserts my shivering here) _

_Larxene... ah, Larxene, Larxene, Larxene. Same old, you get the picture. Bad attitude, sarcastic remarks, just the plain feeling of doom every time we're near the woman! (Sighs) Good thing I know when to be serious. _

_Zexion. Same as usual. Quiet, reads a lot. I think he runs into walls more, now that he doesn't have to place memorized yet. Does the kid have glasses somewhere I wonder? Poor guy needs them. _

_Lexaeus. He's quiet too, scares me sometimes, but I know he's a good fellow. If I remember correctly, he's really shy around Vexen... hm. Can anything be going on between those two? Then again, that might explain Larxene behaviors; she doesn't have Luxord to pick on. If I had a heart I would feel sorry for the Brit. _

_Vexen. Creepy as usual, shy around Lexaeus. I really think something might be up with those two. Heh, I suppose they're just like us, ne Saix? _

_Well that's all of them, unless you want a whole profile on me. I think the letter is good enough for you. So, let me ask you this. How is the full moon thing going? I hope __**it **__doesn't get as bad as it did before I became your therapist. The flower scents working for you I hope? I also hope that this letter reached you on the full moon, that way you won't have to go through so much pain. I remember it all, and I'm sure you do as well. But let's not stay in the past. I also hope that you're relaxing and not working yourself to hard. I hate it when you do that you know. Just remember what I always say. "__There are times you just need to make your own time to breath." Remember that ok? _

_Well I suppose I better get going and lead Sora to the castle. Axel's starting to bug me again too... one day... Anyway, I hope you keep yourself calm. I know this sounds weird but, it hurts me to see you hurt. I care for you too much._

_Love you always,_

_Marluxia_

Saix folded the letter after reading it a few times. He put it neatly back into the envelope hoping to keep the scent of flowers longer that way. Marluxia was right, the scent really did help. Saix smiled and headed towards the window, looking at the full moon again. Marluxia must have made the letter with a more flower scent, just in case. He could smell it in the air around him. Marluxia cared for his well being to much.

That night Saix didn't go through **it,** he was really glad for it. Sighing he walked out of his room, ready to do the superior's orders. But first he had a letter to write.

_Marluxia,_

_I've actually been fine, nothing much happened since you left for your mission. I also wish to thank you for the letter; it did help a lot for __**it. **__And yes you've mentioned the heart thing a lot by the way. I'm sorry I don't have much to say since I'm quickly writing this letter, but I'll make sure to remember your quote and listen to your advice. _

_I owe my life to you. Always. _

_Love, _

_Saix_

Finishing his letter, Saix made a few re-read before he stood and sealed the letter, sending it along with Luxord's love letters to Larxene. Boy is she going to be pissed.

A few more weeks past and the said full moon was coming sooner than Saix expected, he sighed and hoped Marluxia's letter would come in soon. Another week pasted and a knock was at his door, he opened it to find a happy Demyx.

"Saix, I got your mail for you!" The hyper active blond said jumping happily as he spoke. Saix only shook his head and sighed, not in the mood to deal with the blond. He took the letter from Demyx's hand and immediately slammed the door shut. The blond didn't seem fazed and continued along saying something about Maria, whoever that is.

Saix took hold of the letter and walked over to the window and sat in front of it, the moon shining down on him, making his pale exterior so beautiful. His golden eyes seemingly glowed brighter. The letter smelled as it always did and Saix took care and time to opening the seal. Unfolding the paper, he read.

_Dear Saix,_

_I'm glad you doing well. Really I mentioned heart a few times? Dang I should probably start working on that then. I'm also very glad that my letter helped __**it**__. Another month of no pain was probably the best ne? I hope this once again got to you on time; I was really busy with Sora and everything. But you know what I find really weird? He said something that got me and rest confused. I was talking to him about Kairi, you know that red-headed girl that's friends with him and Namine trying to change his memories, you know the story. _

_Anyway, I was talking to him about Kairi and I said. "Your friend K-" and he interrupts me, interrupts me! You know how I get when someone interrupts my important speech. But I got over it when he started talking about someone else. Now here's my question. Who is this... She? He wasn't talking about Kairi but some other girl. Who? That's what I'm wondering. He also said she was lost in darkness. Lost in darkness? Does that mean she was turned into a heartless? _

_This whole thing is confusing me, so I ignored his question and just gave him the card to his memory Traverse Town and disappeared. It was weird, but really not all that important. ... By the way... Did Luxord send one-hundred love letters to Larxene? 'Cause she's __**really**__ pissed. She wouldn't stop complain about how such an idiot he was and that she was going to kill him when we come back and more worse things that I shouldn't write down. So she had Axel burn all the letters, he didn't mind. The pyro. _

_Well I'll get back to you later. Don't work to hard. _

_Love, _

_Marluxia _

Saix sighed as the letter ended, every time he read it he felt like Marluxia was standing next to him telling these things to him personality. Just as Saix thought that he heard a chuckled and found Marluxia standing there looking at him. He blinked confused.

"What? Did you forget I'm your physiatrist?" Saix looked down, so it was a memory. Marluxia looked at Saix confused. "Saix... is there something the matter?" he asked, his voice full of concern. Saix looked up at him not sure, he felt like a lost puppy who didn't know who to trust after being abandoned for so long. He stood and walked over to Marluxia, the whole time he watched. Saix reached a hesitant hand out and touched Marluxia's arm, it didn't go through. "Saix?" Marluxia asked again, but Saix just remained quiet and suddenly hugged Marluxia his scent overtaking him.

A deep rumble was heard from the man's chest, Saix looked up to see Marluxia chuckling. "Did you actually think I wouldn't come and visit you Saix?" Marluxia said, running his hands through Saix's hair. "I had to sneak here to see you, the superior shouldn't know I'm here but still, I shouldn't stay long." Saix nuzzled into the man's chest liking the petting on his head. He heard another chuckle. "You're so cute." Saix blushed at that.

"Marluxia... I thought you were an illusion." Saix asked his golden eyes meeting blue.

"I was only messing around with you; I'm really here, with you." Marluxia suddenly got quiet then he laughed, Saix looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Boy, that sounded cheesy." He said after calming down. Saix shook his head and smiled.

"You're just like that Marluxia, cheesy." Marluxia pouted and Saix laughed. "I'm the one that's supposed to do that." Marluxia laughed too.

"You've grown on me." He said and Saix continued to snuggle into Marluxia chest, he sighed happily as Marluxia ran his fingers through his hair. He gave off a light purr. When the fingers stopped he gave a light whimper and they continued. "Saix..." Marluxia said his voice changing suddenly. Saix's eyes widened and he looked up at him in confusion. "There is something bad happening in Castle oblivion. Sora, he already got rid of one of our members, Larxene. Lexaeus was killed by Riku. Vexen... well he was killed by Axel." Saix's eyes widened at this. "Zexion... he was killed by the Riku clone. And I didn't say this in the correct order, but Saix, I'm the last survivor and Sora has already defeated me once." Saix's grip on Marluxia's cloak became tighter. "Axel disappeared somewhere... and Sora is probably at the highest level of the castle by now. I must go..." Saix whimpered loudly. Marluxia just continue to stroke his hair.

"Why do you have to go back? Why can't you just stay?" Saix asked his grip tightening. Marluxia only gave a sad smile.

"To protect you." Saix looked up at Marluxia and was surprised to feel the other's lips on his own. He closed his eyes and kissed back. He wrapped his arms around the Nobody's neck and pulled him closer. The single gesture alone showing his desperation, he didn't want Marluxia to go.

Marluxia continued to kiss Saix, breaking the contact every now and then to breathe and whisper comforting things in Saix's ears. The kiss was so memorizing, so full of feeling he didn't understand quite yet, it made him feel like he really had a heart. So full of ... Passion. Finally it ended and the two looked at each other, both trying to regain their breathes. "I must go now." Marluxia whispered, not wanting to ruin such a perfect moment. Saix sighed and nodded, another whimper escaping his lips. Marluxia kissed him one last time before he broke away from Saix. His body shivering from the loss of body heat. He backed away and Saix only watched as he disappeared in a portal of darkness.

"I love you." Marluxia said before the darkness completely took him and he disappeared. Saix looked down, he already missed the scent of him, he already missed the warmth of his body against his, he missed him so much because he loved him and he wasn't even sure if that feeling was really there because Nobody's don't have hearts.

Saix didn't go through pain that night; the full moon was covered by many dark rain clouds. Just like his lost heart, clouded by misery. He could only hope that Marluxia will come back.

A couple of weeks went by and Saix got no letters or any visits, he started to lose any hope that Marluxia was ever going back. Everyday he read the letters Marluxia sent over and over again until he couldn't find the scent of him anywhere. He took them out too much. He kept looking out the window, the moon always covered by dark rain clouds. A knock came at his door and Saix knew who it was, he could smell him. Axel. Saix growled at the man but answered the door anyway.

"Hey, the superior called a meeting about my return, don't see why but hey lets go." Axel said, Saix just remained silent and followed Axel with an emotionless look on his face. Once they go to the meeting room, Xemnas told them about the mission in Castle Oblivion. It wasn't a success and there were no survivors expect for Axel, Xemnas also told Axel that he would keep a watchful eye on him. Axel only grumbled but agreed none the less.

During all this, Saix was squeezing the arms of his chair; he could feel it cracking under his strength. "Saix... is something the matter?" Xemnas asked raising a questioning eyebrow. Saix was about to say no until he noticed Axel staring at him, he growled deeply. His golden eyes became more golden, his claws and fangs became sharper and longer, his blue hair bristled like fur and he growled at Axel like a wolf would do to his enemy.

"_You_." Saix growled his hold on the chair even tighter. "Why did _you_ have to live?" Saix asked his hair brisling up more. "Why didn't you die like the others? Fighting Sora like you should have. Betrayal I wonder?" Axel was silent at this. You _traitor_!" Saix jumped from his chair and attacked Axel, he yelled and screamed at him, scratching at him, punching, biting and Axel didn't even do anything. The nerve!

Saix fumed he hated Axel, he hated him for being the one coming home, he hated him for lying he knew he was lying he just knew it. Saix howled and he couldn't control his anger anymore, everything was revolving around one thing. Kill Axel. He couldn't control it anymore and then he felt a pain at his side, he yelped as more pain came at him. He couldn't find his attacker; he would kill him with his bare hands. Another pain, he howled, everything turning black.

That night, Saix went through all the pain over and over. Marluxia wasn't even there to calm him down.

A year passed and Saix was facing his enemy. Sora stood in front of him, along with his friends, Donald and Goofy, ready to battle him to the end. He looked at them a sinister sneer on his face as he took out his claymore and pointed it at Sora, no, Roxas. He grinned as Sora made a comment about that, he didn't care, they were both the same. Then the battle began.

It was nearly equal. They both had the same determination for something, something they're trying to do. For Saix, he wasn't sure whether it was the heart or... he paused which caused Sora to sliced him across the chest, Saix gasped and backed away dropping his claymore. He held his chest, the wound bleeding quickly; he stared at it, the color reminding him of the roses **he** used to grow. He turned to look out the glass window behind him; he looked up at the heart shaped moon.

"Kingdom hearts... Where... is my Rose?" Saix called weakly reaching up for it. Everything in his mind represented the flower and the flower presented that one person. Marluxia, that name he had nearly forgotten, everything was leading him back to that name over and over. Suddenly a paper had flown as if out of nowhere, he blinked and reached for it, grabbing it he could smell the scent of flowers. His eyes widened, he had forgotten that smell. With all the strength he could muster, Saix opened the folded paper, the scent was even stronger.

He had forgotten all about Sora staring at him, he had forgotten the pain in his chest. He didn't even realize he was fading; it didn't matter to him anymore. A smile appeared on his face and as quickly as it came he faded into darkness disappearing forever, the paper slowly floating to the ground.

Sora walked over to it, curiosity and confusion written on his face. He picked up the paper and didn't get the meaning of it at all.

**There are times when you just need to make your own time to breathe. **

**I love you.**

**-**

Ichigo: ... Wow... um I hope that didn't turn out bad. And I feel really bad about the angst, I hate angst but it makes a good story so it had to be put in. And yes they may be a bit OOC, but that's probably how they act to each other. Well I have a few announcements.

The Power of a Heart: Chapter 6 is out and ready to be read and the next chapter will **Not **be part of the storyline, its all about Xemnas.

Heart of the Damned: Chapter 1 will be posted as soon as Eminai and I fix something, it will probably take a while since school started again, but we'll try to fix the issues quickly. If you want to, go ahead and look at the Prologue and leave a review, even though, yes it looks like it's in poem form, and yes Eminai is spazzing, just ignore that. Beside I'm sure everyone has a spazz every now and then. So it would be nice to leave a review.

Ichigo: Well that's all, I hope you enjoyed this, I tried. And of course it's not anywhere part of The Power of a Heart please. (Cough) Oh my, was that me? Well even if it was, it's not like it the actual story, sheesh, why I would do that? Besides its all about Saix and Marluxia! Yay! Then again with all the hints in here, you probably will only get it unless you read The Power of a Heart. Anyway, thanks again for reading this!

Please review!

Owari.


End file.
